For those who teach/work with children:

I spend most of my writing time on sermons and lessons these days, short (and sometimes too long...) Facebook posts, and the occasional (should be more) letter. 

It has been nearly a year since I lasted posted on this blog.  

That said, something has been greatly on my heart as of late and it concerns all of us who work with kids.  Whether you are a school teacher, a Scout leader, a coach, a Sunday school teacher, or a youth minister, how we interact with kids (and WHY) is something that touches me to the core.

This has been on my heart a lot and what I have learned from teaching high school, teaching reading intervention, coaching kids sports, coaching high school sports, teaching children's classes, AWANA, youth group, and Being one of those kids myself....

As teachers of children, first and foremost we are here to support, build up, inspire, and encourage kids by showing them LOVE. For many of kids, the love they get from us may be the only love (patience, compassion, encouragement, etc) that they are ever shown at all.

Now, believe me, I know kids can be very difficult sometimes. It is NOT always bliss and this is not a kumbaya-parent-shaming post. 

Kids can be rowdy, crazy, disrespectful, rude, lethargic, uninterested, and obstinate. That's on the good days 

What I pray we can all remember is that they may be rowdy because, perhaps, they are over-medicated the other part of their day, or perhaps they don't have access to medication they actually need, or maybe they have no tools to get a piece of your coveted adult attention any other way.

They may act crazy because your place doesn't make sense. They may live in a home where attention isn't given, where adults aren't present (either physically or emotionally) and they are pulling and pushing on all the guardrails to see what's real.

Perhaps they seem disrespectful because that is the only behavior they have ever been modeled? I would argue, however, that even more likely is that (like how your own children act worse for you than they do for others) they actually feel safe here with you and perhaps they don't other places, so here is where they feel like they can "cut lose".
Don't teach them they are wrong about that.

The appearance of being rude can be a misinterpretation of social cues that simply don't translate from how one person lives and what environment another must live in.
We must remember that they may not have grow up in our home, our socioeconomic status, our religion, or our culture.

They may, at times, seem lethargic because they (even at elementary school age) may be putting themselves to bed at night, alone. They may not have a safe and comfortable place to sleep well, or may even be working at night to help with the family, either at a job, around the house, or caring for other siblings (or caring for incapacitated parents that are supposed to be caring for them).

Often times a child that seems uninterested may be feigning disinterest to protect them-self from being "found out" - typically this is because they can't read or can't read on grade level. This can also be because they cognitively can't understand the questions but have been ridiculed to the point of developing a fear of asking for help. This can also be because they simply don't know your organizational words and lingo (higher education, churchie, etc.).

We all need to look for opportunities for every child to have their moments to shine. Most children will not shine in all areas and we want to praise them in the areas they do - meet them where they are. We want to love, respect, encourage, and take pride in the child who comes for game time as we do the child that finishes all their book work early, as the child that hangs on every word of the lesson, as the child that constantly talks and acts out during the lesson to deflect their level of discomfort.

We certainly can not let bad behavior simply go or allow kids to treat each other (or adults) poorly.

There will be times that we yell, times that we cry, times that we do this well, and times that we do this horribly (for we are as human as the kids).

I just want to encourage all of us to take a moment and consider that a child might be acting like a kid with "no raising" because they are, in fact, a kid who has never had anyone to truly raise them. Until us.

We want to be a soft place, a safe landing - we want to be Jesus. Jesus with open arms, warm smiles, loads of patience, and grace-Filled love. We will fail at that. All of it. When we do, we want to admit the shortcoming, get back up, and try again. Love more.

We have to remember that children don't try to push us away to actually push us away.... they try to push us away to see if they are really worth it for us to actually stay.

Millennials, Overscheduling, and the definition of Success

Millennials.  The designation is given to people born during a roughly 20 year span by some (1980-2000), however I think, whatever you want to call them, the real designation is 1980-1987 or so.  What that means is that Millennials are your current parents-of-young-children (age 28-35).  Why does any of that matter?  Well, a little background information is necessary to understand the issue at hand (whether you fall into that age range or not).  I digress.

What you need to know:

More Millennials are working than any other generation in American history.  The number one response in Millennials to the age old question of "how are you?" has changed from "good" (as has been the standard answer for about the last 60 years) to "busy!".  

Research shows that relationships within Millennials (across the board) have taken a hit due to extremely limited face to face time and that that face to face time is then spent in competition.  

The number one thing they are said to (actually) compete over and try to "one-up" on:  being the busiest.  The analogy among business research is that "a full outlook calendar has replaced the sports car as the number one status symbol".  This analogy doesn't just stop at the parents either.  Even when both parents work full time and keep their schedules maxed out (often times the way the competition of being busy is won is judged by who has missed the most planned events/activities), they equally over extend themselves in shuttling multiple children to multiple sports in multiple cities (full well knowing they can't make them all and that it will cause even more stress on all other activities and relationships).  

Speaking of stress, depending on your survey of choice, Millennials report that over 20% of them live in a constant state of "Extreme stress" and 50% self identify as "medium-high stress".  Even with those figures, nearly 70% of those who identify themselves as high stress or above say that their stress increases each passing year and they're being stretched thinner and thinner.

In politics, Millennials don't vote.  Often times they're very passionate about politics, talk politics, listen to politics, even volunteer in the political process and yet statistics show they Still Don't Vote. The reasons?  Non-committal.  Sort of.... they view it as a waste of time (1 match in a forest fire) and that it takes too much time and effort to go vote just to accomplish nothing.

In the business arena, volumes are being written about how to manage Millennials in the workforce.  

The top points coming out of all the research:  

They value relationships and want to work with their friends and want who they work with to be their friends (this is more valued in Millennials than in any other generation of the past).
They are the busiest generation ever, and above anything else they value flexibility (and hate mandatory time slots and will burn out and leave your company if work _schedules_ interfere with their busy schedules outside of work). Right.  

Speaking of schedules...  Schedules are crazy. 
Again, "Success" in business And family is defined by who has the most over-scheduled GoogleCalendar (Outlook... Lawl). "Downtime" is the few isolated weeks a year that you have time to catch a breath between activities. Christmas "break"? Forget about it. Summer "break"? You're kidding.  The first week of back to school? LOL!!!!
The first week back to school, as most are in now or are currently preparing for with the same panic induced voracity of a doomsday prepper on the History Channel, is pure unadulterated pandemonium. 
Phrases like "be still" and "quiet time" are thrown in the box that includes other equally likely statements such as "fly to Pluto" (is that a planet again or are we still broke up?) and "eat breakfast with a TRex" (and no, the kid you're currently getting ready for back to school doesn't count. Technically). 
So... What do we do?  We're literally too busy to breathe.  So, we perform (daily) scheduling triage.  But... how's that working out for you?  When you lay your activities on the chopping block, (be honest) what gets cut, how do you choose, and why?  

"Be still" before people can get the question out of their lips of 'what does that even mean?' their brain interrupts with 'Yeah, Right!'  "Be still"?  Really?  Still?  

What's at play in these internal wars we wage?  (false) idols of convenience, being good enough, buying time, buying love, success, being the status quo, anxiety and control (oh the damning cycle that control and anxiety perpetuate)

Here are OUR answers
(because like everything else I write and every sermon I deliver, this is a #Note2Self )
Even if you've read these a hundred times, even if you could recite them without clicking on the link to read them, click on the link to Read them in the message and here the imploring love letter from a God who loves you, wants you to have peace, and wants to offer Rest.

1. Psalm 23
2. Psalm 46
3. Isaiah 40 (pay special attention to verses 27-31)
4. Matthew 6:25-34
5. Philippians 4:6-7
6. and **Matthew 11:29-30