Wednesday, January 10, 2018

For those who teach/work with children:



I spend most of my writing time on sermons and lessons these days, short (and sometimes too long...) Facebook posts, and the occasional (should be more) letter. 

It has been nearly a year since I lasted posted on this blog.  

That said, something has been greatly on my heart as of late and it concerns all of us who work with kids.  Whether you are a school teacher, a Scout leader, a coach, a Sunday school teacher, or a youth minister, how we interact with kids (and WHY) is something that touches me to the core.

This has been on my heart a lot and what I have learned from teaching high school, teaching reading intervention, coaching kids sports, coaching high school sports, teaching children's classes, AWANA, youth group, and Being one of those kids myself....

As teachers of children, first and foremost we are here to support, build up, inspire, and encourage kids by showing them LOVE. For many of kids, the love they get from us may be the only love (patience, compassion, encouragement, etc) that they are ever shown at all.

Now, believe me, I know kids can be very difficult sometimes. It is NOT always bliss and this is not a kumbaya-parent-shaming post. 

Kids can be rowdy, crazy, disrespectful, rude, lethargic, uninterested, and obstinate. That's on the good days 


What I pray we can all remember is that they may be rowdy because, perhaps, they are over-medicated the other part of their day, or perhaps they don't have access to medication they actually need, or maybe they have no tools to get a piece of your coveted adult attention any other way.
They may act crazy because your place doesn't make sense. They may live in a home where attention isn't given, where adults aren't present (either physically or emotionally) and they are pulling and pushing on all the guardrails to see what's real.
Perhaps they seem disrespectful because that is the only behavior they have ever been modeled? I would argue, however, that even more likely is that (like how your own children act worse for you than they do for others) they actually feel safe here with you and perhaps they don't other places, so here is where they feel like they can "cut lose".
Don't teach them they are wrong about that.
The appearance of being rude can be a misinterpretation of social cues that simply don't translate from how one person lives and what environment another must live in.
We must remember that they may not have grow up in our home, our socioeconomic status, our religion, or our culture.
They may, at times, seem lethargic because they (even at elementary school age) may be putting themselves to bed at night, alone. They may not have a safe and comfortable place to sleep well, or may even be working at night to help with the family, either at a job, around the house, or caring for other siblings (or caring for incapacitated parents that are supposed to be caring for them).
Often times a child that seems uninterested may be feigning disinterest to protect them-self from being "found out" - typically this is because they can't read or can't read on grade level. This can also be because they cognitively can't understand the questions but have been ridiculed to the point of developing a fear of asking for help. This can also be because they simply don't know your organizational words and lingo (higher education, churchie, etc.).

We all need to look for opportunities for every child to have their moments to shine. Most children will not shine in all areas and we want to praise them in the areas they do - meet them where they are. We want to love, respect, encourage, and take pride in the child who comes for game time as we do the child that finishes all their book work early, as the child that hangs on every word of the lesson, as the child that constantly talks and acts out during the lesson to deflect their level of discomfort.

We certainly can not let bad behavior simply go or allow kids to treat each other (or adults) poorly.

There will be times that we yell, times that we cry, times that we do this well, and times that we do this horribly (for we are as human as the kids).

I just want to encourage all of us to take a moment and consider that a child might be acting like a kid with "no raising" because they are, in fact, a kid who has never had anyone to truly raise them. Until us.

We want to be a soft place, a safe landing - we want to be Jesus. Jesus with open arms, warm smiles, loads of patience, and grace-Filled love. We will fail at that. All of it. When we do, we want to admit the shortcoming, get back up, and try again. Love more.

We have to remember that children don't try to push us away to actually push us away.... they try to push us away to see if they are really worth it for us to actually stay.